Macabre Moments

It always begins at nightfall. Like any other haunting thought or feeling, there’s a subtle pull—a gentle tug, so tender, so light, I feel it

I feel it all the time at nightfall. Sometimes it’s a whisper, a memory, it takes the shape of an echo, or an afterimage

It’s too hard to ignore, but why would I want to? Every pull reminds me of you, they bring me back to a happy place—a place where the sun is shining,

A place where the fog is lifted. But those memories are all nothing but memories floating in a pool, swimming, bouncing on the walls

And I just float there, day in and day out.

It’s the only place I get to see you, your smile, your bright green eyes. It’s the only place I hear your laugh and the only place I get to hug you again,

It’s the only place I get to speak with you, where your voice is heard, where I can shake your hand and feel the roughness against my own

The happenings of the real world always jolt me out of the comfort of my memories

And then I’m reminded I’m living in the real world without you.

And the sadness washes over me, again, again, again, again, again, again, and again.

And I sit there drowning in a pool of my own tears wishing you were here.

I miss you, Chuy.

I love you forever, little brother.